“What? How could he just walk away after thirty years of marriage?”… Without his wallet or belongings?
Mayuri sat surrounded by people, noises, and voices, yet nothing reached her. It was the fifth day since her world turned upside down.
Did they fight? Was the marriage strong? I thought they were happy. Who knows what goes on in a marriage?
It was just like any other day. She had woken up at around 7 AM and walked into the kitchen. The saucepan and a single mug were washed and neatly placed on the draining board, just like every single day for the last thirty years. Her husband had a penchant for waking up early and had his cup of tea before he started his day. In the early years of the marriage, the mornings were pretty hectic, and the arrival of children added to the chaos.
Retirement brought forth pleasant, if not earth-shattering, changes. He returned from his walk at around half-past seven, carrying a newspaper, just in time for Mayuri to walk onto the patio with their respective cups of tea, and they sat discussing the news. Though they held differing political opinions and debated endlessly, their exchanges were rarely acrimonious.
What about his children? Maybe he was depressed! Is it possible that the children are not coming to visit their parents? This is what happens when we send children away to a foreign land. Loneliness, maybe? Or mental health issues? How little we know of others!
“Listen, Mayuri! The children are happy living their own lives, just like they need to. They talk to us every day, and that makes you happy. Except during the pandemic, we make it a point to meet them every year. Get a life. Create a routine. Don’t mope around. You will make the children feel guilty.
Here comes the police! Anything you can add, madam? Did he leave a letter? You say you checked…but can you look again? What was he wearing? You didn’t notice, you say! Yes, yes, I agree we hardly notice what our spouses wear. Didn’t you lay out his clothes for him? Can you check his wardrobe and inform us? No? You don’t remember all his shirts and T-shirts. Did you not shop for him?
Thirty years back, “go and hand over this coffee to Madhav,” Mayuri was told. She stood by his side, pouring the coffee back and forth between the davara and tumbler the way she had seen the women in her family do. Madhav had looked quizzically at Mayuri and said, “Hover around me if you want my company, not otherwise! I hate lukewarm coffee!” The same was the case when she laid out his clothes or stood by his side. As time went by, she started to appreciate the self-sufficient man, unlike the men in her family who wanted their wives to mother them.
Such a nice man! Very helpful and not like my husband at all. Yes, he helps around a lot. He makes his own coffee, you know?
Only now, she realized that there were pockets of him that she could never reach. She didn’t know much about his finances. He provided well, but she had never bothered to ask about investments and other details, and now she didn’t even know about their financial health. A couple of times, she had asked him, and he had been vague, and she hadn’t persisted either.
Now, when she thought about it, she realized the strange thing about life and living together. You don’t know much about the other person. You remember some conversations, the pauses, even the expressions, but often enough cannot see them or put a finger on them.
Of late, he had immersed himself in philosophy and religion, territories into which she could never follow him. She had long dismissed it as part of his reticent nature, but she remembered a film in which even a rational man surrendered himself to a godman’s influence. Hadn’t Vinod Khanna once abandoned cinema for an ashram? She remembered the heartbreak she had felt then for her matinee idol. Now, she wondered. Had her own husband done the same—walked away into some spiritual retreat, leaving her behind? The guilt followed immediately.
The children had returned home as soon as they could, and together with friends, relatives, and neighbours, they searched everywhere for him. Hospitals, morgues, bus stands—every possibility was exhausted. Social media appeals brought sympathy but no answers. Each spell of rain and every chill evening wind filled her with dread.
Maybe some health issue? Dementia?
She sat, hearing voices around her, not getting the closure she deserved. Was his walking away deliberate, or was he a victim of foul play? As everyone searched for him, she sat among his belongings, neat, not a thing out of place, as she meticulously searched for answers.
As days went by, she scoured the pages of the newspaper for any possible leads. She looked at passers-by and beggars searching among them for a familiar face. Over time, she stopped running to the door each time it rang, but that didn’t prevent her heart from racing-part hope, part anger. Over time, she stopped looking at her mobile phone to see if she had missed any calls.
And gradually, the world outside receded as she sat alone, becoming a recluse, living with her unanswered questions.
Perhaps the disappearance of a family member does that to you. Left with questions that have no answers.
This post is a part of ‘Fam Jam Blog Hop’ hosted by Manali Desai and Sukaina Majeed under #EveryConversationMatters blog hop series
Manali Desai to https://arusticmind88.wordpress.com
Sukaina Majeed https://thenightreader28.wordpress.com
#EveryConversationMatters to https://www.instagram.com/ecm_bloghopseries
Your words sketched such an evocative picture of couples married for a long time. Though they live together they stop noticing so many things about each other, living together but leading separate lives. The ending left me a little sad – for Mayuri’s sake, I hope she can find closure at some point.
Your post left me with a sense of loss and sorrow… and questions as well. How much do husbands and wives really know about each other even after decades of living together? Does retirement make it more difficult to live together? A wonderful post, indeed!
The human mind works in mysterious ways, and we may never truly know what someone is silently carrying within. Your story is a deeply haunting reminder of how little we know about the battles people carry within them. The uncertainty, guilt, hope, and grief left behind were portrayed so poignantly.
I liked how you portray the reality of life and relationships. It’s not always a happy ending. You have depicted such complex and harsh truth in such a beautiful way that I was hooked to want to read what happens next.
Thank you so much. My friend’s father had just disappeared one day ..their plight made me pen down this complete fiction. Not even close to people who I know
Thank you so much . I am glad that you could identify all the emotions. Humans are so complex
Oh, how sad! So many unanswered questions, and she has to live without finding closure! Sad!
Closure is so important. But I often wonder, do we ever get it ? Maybe few in between
Even if we live together we may not know what’s going on in the depths of a human mind, if one keeps things secret. Your articulation raises many questions, while answering a few.
I guess as is with life , we hardly have answers
I am a caretaker to a dementia patient. And till date we have not understood why and how it happened. All we do is cherish the good old times spent with them.
That is so heartbreaking . My mom too started forgetting after her hip surgery. Fortunately for us she didn’t give us more heartbreak. That would have been more shattering than the loss
Uff! This was such a sad tale. This really points to how one can be a partner in life, live together for years, and still not know anything at all about the person.
P.s. this story made me remember a book called The Unlikely Adventures of Harold Fry, in which he walks out, but that is a poignant, hopeful book.
Must read that book. Would like a hopeful story:)
This had a quiet sense of mystery that kept me reading. The emotions underneath the story felt just as important as the disappearance itself. Thoughtful and engaging.
Sometimes we do not find answers and that increases the sense of loss. This is a very poignant story.
Thank you .
Thank you so much. I myself was trying to decipher why people do what they do. Guess the questions came as is
As much as we see happy endings in movies, real lofe is far from that. You have explained such a deep and harsh reality in such a soft and emotional way.
Why others behave in a certain way is not always a reflection about us.
But then if onlys make our life miserable, no? What transpires in each one’s life is so difficult to understand
A person’s disappearance can raise so many questions and emotions in us. Including, the void and continuous search for him.
Absolutely. Nothing is worse than not knowing
That was a sad one. As I was reading it, I was telling myself that my husband is also like this, part recluse. I don’t know everything about him, his finances; I never pack for his trips….it seemed so familiar. Brought a chill down my spine!
Oh..no. It is just a fictional take of some stray remark made about someone somebody knows. I am sorry to make you worried 🙂
Sometimes we’ve just had enough of it all – family pressures, societal expectations, the same routine for years. Maybe that was what brought this around. We can only make speculations. I hope they both find their individual happiness.