My dad, an inveterate tea drinker, made my mother climb the wall with his constant clamors for many a cup during the day and something to go with the afternoon cuppa. Grumbling that she too was growing old, she nevertheless made him ‘the last cup for the day’ and something spicy and hot to go with the tea.  Each one of them egged the other to overcome their own physical discomfort to run the household, with him walking to a nearby vegetable vendor despite his knee pain.

He passed on. The subsequent loss of her hearth and home led to a downward spiral of frequent ill-health and consequent lethargy has made her a mere shadow of what she was then.

Most of us do better when pushed. Right from childhood, we study better when exams are approaching; we play harder when there is a match or selection for the same. We cook better for our loved ones, and our rest time is planned only after the ‘tasks assigned to us either by someone or by our own sense of duty and responsibility’ are complete.

In retrospect, my mother was happier when she was forced into busyness as she felt wanted and loved and useful despite grumbling at the vanishing maid or the errant plumber!  Simply put, she was happy pottering around at her own pace.

The above was seconded by a family counselor when she said, “The best that we can all do to keep ourselves healthy is to continue doing work at our own pace but without a break.”   She further felt that cooking and other chores keep all senses engaged along with the necessary motor skills.

In a lighter vein, one of the geriatric doctors quipped that mental agility was more so in olden times, as daughter-in-law and mother-in-law pitted against each other in the war of words and were constantly on the lookout for one-upmanship, and the menfolk made themselves scarce by keeping themselves busy too.

Today, things have changed. We have Swiggy to deliver food, Urban Clap to keep the house clean, BigBasket for delivering our groceries and other important needs for the house, and online payments made easy. The nuclear family system and the fondness to have more rooms than the members have added more languor and subsequent ennui.  Very few identify this lack and engage themselves in activities that enhance their own quality of life.

To make things worse, most of us think that we, as able-bodied individuals, should and must give adequate rest to the old, infirm, and the slow.  But then using busyness as a tool to avoid thinking or to run away from delving into our deep-rooted issues is also counterproductive to happiness.  Keeping one so engaged that it does not give us sufficient time to reflect, recharge, and recoup is also equally harmful.  The key here is to keep busy and yet take time to smell the roses and admire the rainbow.

Walking the fine balance between busyness and not being madly busy is the necessary tool for a healthy and happy soul.

This post was originally published in Deccan Herald 

Stop by my poem that was published in Spillwords on the same theme:

This blog is sprinting its way to the finish line with Piyush’s Plotters as part of The Blogchatter Half Marathon!