Nalini turned the key to the door and impatiently rang the bell when she realized that once again the door was latched from the inside. “Sorry Amma, I keep forgetting,” Ashwin said but there was hardly any remorse on his face.  She saw her mother-in-law hastily heading towards the kitchen.  There seemed to be an air of conspiracy between her son and his grand mom and somehow that hurt her more, though she always knew that the two shared a very good rapport. She never had the so-called problem of being a part of the ‘sandwich generation’ or else she could not have managed being a single parent. It was just that with her emotions raw, she felt tearful and hurt all the time.   She was angry as well. She was being treated like a recalcitrant child, who should have known better. She knew Surya cared for her and wanted to marry her yet, she refused to accept his proposal, didn’t she? She did not want to hurt the two most important people in her life and felt that they would not appreciate or understand the need for a man in her life. Nevertheless, the whole unhappy episode brought home the physical aspect of marriage and she wanted someone to cuddle up to and thoroughly felt embarrassed for her errant thoughts.  She knew that she owed everything to her mother-in-law’s strength of character. How she wished that the older woman was kept in dark about the whole unfortunate episode.

“How was your day?” Ashwin asked as his mother sipped the tea. The evening tea was almost like a religion for they all spent some quality time talking about the day. Right from beginning, it was the older woman who got the tea ready. After Ashwin left home for doing his undergrad, Nalini missed him so much and she would have given up on this ritual but for the older woman’s persistence. She too must have sorely missed her grandson for she was the one who was at home 24/7 hours and had taken care of him right from his infancy but bless the woman not a depressing word would pass through her lips!

“It was fairly mundane.” She replied to the query.

“How did you both spend your day?” Again she tried to ignore the undercurrent that seemed to pass through the two and wondered if her son too felt that she was too old to have thought of romance. She felt both sad and guilty. Maybe, she should have been stronger and not allowed the emotions to rule her. She felt sad that the comfortable state that they all shared was somehow ruined because of her. She squared her shoulders the way she had seen her mother-in-law doing it whenever she had to deal with an unpleasant topic and decided to meet the situation head-on.

“Look Ashwin, Patti must have told you…. I really don’t know why I allowed emotions to rule me at this age.”

She sat by the side of the elderly woman and taking her hands in hers, she continued, “I should have known better. Put the mistake down to my emotional weakness. Surya became my boss and the resultant proximity was the reason for this madness.  We clicked intellectually and slowly the friendship developed to something deeper more so from his side.” She blushed wishing the lie did not show on her face.  Looking at the proliferation of wrinkles in the old woman’s hand she guiltily wondered if they have become more because of this incident.  She bravely went on, “I have no intention of hurting you or your grandmother, and that is why I tried not to take the relationship further. I also wish that both of you had not got an inkling about the whole unpleasantness. Let’s please put this incident past us and continue our lives as before.”

She ended with forced gaiety trying to push away the mental picture of Surya from her mind. Once again she felt a thick layer of undercurrent that passed between the two.

Feeling low, she got up and collecting the cups, she excused herself mumbling that she desperately needed a bath.  What actually she needed was a good cry away from witnesses for the wrench of leaving Surya was much more than she had anticipated. She knew she was spending an inordinate time in the bathroom instead of busying herself with making dinner.  It was her responsibility for she knew that her mother-in-law did a lion’s share of running the household and refused to let her anywhere near the kitchen after the evening tea.

Yet…  Being an orphan, Nalini’s marriage had been fixed by well-meaning relatives as soon as she had completed her graduation. It was an arranged marriage and Gopal having lost his father at the age of two, was an undiluted mama’s boy. The older lady was reticent and ran the household with precision that would do any army general proud.  Having lived the life of a penniless widow, she scoffed at wasteful expenditure and any kind of modern outlook. Nalini, despite coming from a different background had to toe the line.

Nalini had little grouse against her ‘Amma’ as she was perforce to call her for she never instigated her son against his wife, and never criticized Nalini but expected her to unquestioningly adapt herself to her marital household. Ashwin was just a month old when his father became an innocent victim to a hit-and-run.

The world crashed around the young mother but the wonderful lady pushed her own grief to the background and ever stoic took the younger woman under her wings. She fought against the harsh traditions and did not entertain any ceremony that would bring more sorrow to her daughter-in-law.  Though, she sported a white saree and had a shorn-scalp she refused point blank when it came to the daughter-in-law removing her bindi and bangles. She asserted that when a girl adorns herself with all these even before marriage, it is foolishness to expect her to remove them after the death of her husband.

It was the start of a forging of a strong bond between the two women and Nalini started calling her ‘Amma’ without any reservations.  The older woman was the cornerstone through Nalini’s journey of being a single mother. She was there, when Nalini went back to school. She was there when she joined an executive MBA program. She was there, when she worked her way up the ladder in the company to her present post of Asst. Vice President. She was there, through the teething, fever, PTA’s and later on the college of her grandson. Ashwin had completed his undergraduate a premier National Institute of Technology and was now moving on to do his masters in one of the Ivy League colleges. All this was possible only because the older lady was the one constant in Nalini’s life.  Nalini was cruising along just fine.  The vacuum in her life was not made evident till the advent of Surya. He was the antithesis of Gopal. Though he loved his mother, she apparently had no say in his decision to remain unmarried even though he was in his early forties. He was a big man and had a bigger presence. His booming laughter which too often shook the building was a frequent happening. He was unorthodox in his outlook and his easy way of addressing the people by first name was something she was yet to be used to.  His promotion as the president came with a transfer and his energetic presence was something she could not ignore. Suddenly, she was made aware of the missing factor in her life. She tried hard to be unaffected but he was in her mind much to her discomfort.  She wasn’t sure of his feelings till the day of the official party. A non-party person, she had to be present because it happened to be hosted for the retirement of her mentor in the company. She had chosen to wear a midnight blue saree for she knew that it suited her. She had allowed her only friend in her office, Swati to dress her up with Kohl around her eyes.  “Is all this makeover for Surya? I am glad.”   Aghast, Nalini took a tissue to wipe away the eye makeup but was stopped.

“What is wrong to like a person? You are not cheating on your husband and for heaven’s sake you are still young.”

“Forty-one…is not young and please don’t tell me that my feelings are that transparent or are they?” Nalini asked worriedly shredding the tissue to pieces.

“Only to me and I assure you that when people come to know, they too would be happy for you rather than critical. You deserve it. Come now, let’s make a grand entrance.”

The men knew better than to comment about her looks but their double take did her ego a lot of good.  During dinner, the young Sheila asked laughingly the question that was uppermost in everyone’s mind, “Surya, why did you not marry? Is it a failed relationship? It is really difficult to imagine that with your looks you were left alone!”

Pulling her closer, he remarked with exaggerated sigh, “Alas! I didn’t find you, until now……”  In the ensuing laughter, everyone except Swati missed the speaking glance he sent Nalini.  The warm feeling that continued through the evening made Nalini effervescent and everyone commented about her new image.  She was so caught up in her first romance that she missed out the frosty expression in her the older woman’s face as soon as she entered home. She had forgotten that the wise old lady had the uncanny ability to ferret any information she needed. She also was aware that she being a traditional person would not like anyone taking her beloved son’s place.   She did not say anything but the silence made Nalini realize that this new-found relationship wouldn’t take her anywhere particularly at the cost of her son and his grandmother. She decided to end the fledging romance before it caught her up in a storm little realizing she was too late.

“Amma, how long will you take?” Ashwin hollered banging the door with his fist. “We are going out.”

“Are we?”  She asked striving to make her voice normal and not let out that her bath time was interspersed with bouts of crying.

“Oh, ma…What is this saree? It looks terrible. Please change to that lovely blue saree you wear for special occasions,” Looking at her surprised expression, he added, “Is going out with me and Patti not worth dressing up for?”

“Yes, of course it is. But, I never thought you ever seemed to notice what I wear.”

There was something funny going on, she decided as she was changing into that saree. The older lady never came out with them except for temples. Maybe, it was their way of cheering her up. It is really funny that you love a person but cannot gauge their feeling.  Both of them did not realize that she did not want to go out; she wanted to crawl into a hole and cry just to ease the pain. She was even more surprised when Ashwin drove them to a beautiful apartment block. “What are you both up to?” She asked as they got into the lift, “Who lives here that I don’t know of?”

Ashwin simply smiled and his grandmother did not deign to answer and they both went ahead carrying a couple of carry bags between them.  Nalini was forced to follow and she did just that grumbling, “As if you two are in the same age bracket! That’s fine, have your secrets. I will follow like a …….…..,”

The rest of the words never came out as she took with shock the elegant couple standing at the doorway with Surya hovering behind them.  “Welcome, Welcome….”  Nalini was too stupefied when she saw Ashwin stretching out his hand to Surya, before he was pulled into a hug. Stupefied, Nalini watched her son and his grandmother arrange the fruits, sugar, betel leaves and flowers along with a traditional yellow and pink wedding invitation on a tray. Ashwin took the tray from his grandmother’s hand and handed it over to the older couple and touched the older couple’s feet as a mark of respect.  “Shall we end the game, ‘patti’?”  He asked with a wink. He handed over an invite to his mother. Nalini looked at the invite and read through blurring eyes,   Sharadambal Venkatesan & Mr. Ventatesan Gopal (alias Ashwin) cordially request the pleasure of your company with family and friends on the auspicious occasion of the marriage of the former’s daughter-in-law and the latter’s mother

Nalini

With Surya Srinivasan (son of Smt. Lakshmi and Shri R. Srinivasan)

on  ……………..

Nalini looked at her son who was named after his grandfather. She suddenly saw a mature and responsible man instead of the boy that he always was. She turned to look at the frail lady. They were the two people who were everything and more to her and sputtered, “When, how …why?”

Her mother-in-law cleared her throat.  “Actually, I am hurt that you did not trust me enough to say what was uppermost in your mind. I overheard you breaking up with Surya a couple of months back using me as an excuse. You used words like…lonely road ahead of you and you wouldn’t hurt me etc…all nonsense,” she glared in her characteristic brusque manner. “You did hurt me…by not taking me into your confidence. At the same time I was worried if I would lose you. I thought I didn’t have anyone other than you and Ashwin.” Her voice cracked, before she straightened her shoulders in the way that was all too familiar to anyone who knew the strong woman. “It was then, I spoke to Ashwin …..”  Suddenly overcome by emotions she let the tears fall but this time out of pride, “We have done a wonderful job in bringing him up, Nalini… we two women have brought up a fine man.”

Wiping her tears with the end of her saree, she continued, “he consoled me by saying, ‘Patti, I will continue to be your grandson and mother will be your daughter throughout, you know what, we really can’t give her something that Surya can!’”  Ashwin laughed taking over, “Grandma’s expression was one in a million! She wanted to close her ears till I told her. Companionship!” He went and hugged her, “Really naughty, old lady, what did you think I meant?”  He came over and hugged his mother, “How could you think that we would stop you from being happy? We planned and plotted the whole thing. We spoke to Surya and his parents. We have told all our relatives. Only the bride is unaware…and by the way your office Swati has promised me that her one-year-old daughter would be married off to me when she grows up!”

Nalini sobbed, hugging her son and the large-hearted lady who gave her much more than a mother would, till she was gruffly told that on auspicious days one should not shed tears. When she was introduced to Surya’s parents formally, his father joked, “I really hope that these are happy tears, though for the life of me I cannot understand what you found in our son!”  Surya added, “Don’t worry Nalini, your mother will make her home with us. She will teach my mother some of the traditional values that she lacks and…ouch…” he stopped when he was elbowed by his mom. Nalini went into the outstretched arms of her new ‘mother-in-law to be’ happy to be loved and cherished. She was blessed to have all strong women in her lives and who in turn had brought up strong men. Life was indeed good.

This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’
hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla
in collaboration with Dr. Preeti Chauhan.

This was a part of Penmancy challenge Gen2Gen March 2024

It also was published in Woman’s Era on Jan 1 2013 issue